Tips On Handling Disappointments And Refocusing On Your Goals

Aug,25 2021

Handling disappointments can be quite tricky. Sometimes, you get used to the seemingly little ones, and then you have a major setback that makes it seem as though they all piled up somewhere and at that moment, it feels like nothing ever worked.

You held high expectations that something would work out in your favor, but unfortunately, things didn’t entirely go your way. You’re now holding onto an unsatisfactory outcome and finding it difficult to deal with unfulfilled promises and expectations.

Disappointment is quite an uncomfortable feeling. We have no idea how exactly we feel like we are angry upset hurt or sad, and many other feelings, but one thing we can say about disappointment is, it’s a negative feeling, whatever feeling generates through disappointment is negative and this negativity will not allow us to feel good.

Learning how to deal with it helps you handle the pain and hurt a lot better, it can also spur you towards your desire depending on much you learn from the experience. We’ll discuss more on this in a while.


1. Identify How You Deal With Anxiety And Stress

Ask yourself how you deal with anxiety? Is it a time for you to take a vacation, go see a movie or would you rather have people over? If you haven’t figured it out prior to now, that’s also fine.

Try a number of activities and take note of those you really enjoy. It could be biking, swimming, taking a long walk, binge-watching a series on Netflix, etc.

The implication of this is that, when you figure out what helps to keep you calm during a stressful period, you’ll be able to control your emotions and redirect them to something you enjoy doing.


2. Create Your Own Narrative

Now you have accepted what happened? So what next? I would recommend a self-tailored narrative to help you cope. A self-narrative means your own ways to help you overcome disappointment.

For instance, you can use your favorite quotes, read stories from other people who have failed before, or create journals that encourage you. Pick something that distracts you from the pain.


3. Stay Calm And Collected

Something just happened that didn’t work out as you had expected, and now you’re feeling miserably disappointed. It’s okay. Let’s just stay calm and collected. Accept that disappointment is only a temporary condition that results from how you have chosen to interpret this experience.

In other words, your perspective of the situation is what’s making you feel disappointed. Another person in your shoes might actually feel very different about what just happened. Let’s therefore not jump to conclusions. Let’s instead assume that things might just not be as bad as you make them out to be.


4. Remember Its Temporary

You need to understand that disappointment is temporary, you feel bad only till the time you have negative feelings about any situation.

Like you tried doing something but it didn’t happen the way you wanted it to be, so the feeling of disappointment occurs, but you need to learn from that disappointment and need to move forward.

It’s ok if things don’t turn out the way you wanted and there must be many times, when things didn’t do well but it always thought you a new lesson and learning new things never fails you, so understand it's temporary and you have the strength to move on and overcome it.


5. Modify Your Expectations And Objectives

The fifth step of this process requires that you modify your expectations and objectives. When you modify your expectations, you begin to see things more clearly and rationally. This will likewise help you to alter your objectives.

It’s very possible that you initially aimed a little too high and too quickly. A modified objective will provide you with a realistic target you can work towards. And, of course, once you hit that mark you can then raise the bar higher the next time around.


6. Protect Your Mental Health

Deliberately avoid people that always have something negative to say. Limit the people you share your hurt with.

You don’t want someone reminding you about all the other opportunities that didn’t work out in a moment like this. Be conscious of the things you allow to get into your head and mind.


7. Make New Rules

Now that you have learned from your experience, there is a need to make new rules. For instance, you can start choosing friends wisely, change your spending habits, and have boundaries in the next relationship. However, this may cost you friends, family, or even business associates.

Whenever you make new rules not everyone will understand and some may think you’re doing it out of spite. Sometimes it requires you to cut contact with people who are close to you.


8. Be Optimistic

At the time of disappointment ask yourself a good question positive question which distracts you and makes you feel good.

Try to be focused on something good to avoid bad, instead of analyzing that situation or person in a bad way.

Try to remember good things about a particular person or situation. This helps you to avoid bad and remember well.