A self-defeating thought is more commonly known as beating yourself up over something, or telling yourself that you do not deserve something that should bring you happiness.
We do these things all the time, and they can have a significant impact on overall physical and mental well-being.
If you have found yourself repeating self-defeating thoughts and behaviors then it’s critical to understand the root causes of where these thoughts and behaviors are coming from.
It is important to overcome these self-defeating thoughts because it leaves you exhausted and without access to the powerful energy you need to create the best of your life.
So how can we stand up to them and choose joy instead? Well, today we’re going to talk about just that, with 7 ways to overcome self-defeating thoughts.
Your thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t you. Your thoughts don’t have to be a reality unless you allow them to be. So when they creep in, you might start by trying to set limits.
Indulge those self-defeating thoughts for a specific period of time, like 10 minutes. Time yourself. And when the time is up, it’s up.
Thank them for their input and send them on their way. You can let your thoughts disempower you, or you can choose to disempower your thoughts.
The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is to recognize that they are first and foremost in your head, and are not real. When you start to experience self-defeating thoughts, take time to question why you feel this way, what is making you think this and how it is not accurate.
Some questions to consider are: What is my evidence for this thought? Is it my interpretation, or factual? Would anyone else say this about me? When you challenge your negative thoughts, your brain will start to come back to reality, and recognize the overt inaccuracies.
Self-defeating thoughts also arise when we try too hard to fit in with a group and fail to live up to our expectations. You’re never going to feel like you’re good enough if you’re trying to live up to an ideal that doesn’t match your authentic self.
Instead of getting caught up in this vicious cycle, focus on simply being who you are. The people who truly care about you will accept you for who you are, rather than forcing you to be someone that you’re not.
It’s much harder for self-doubt to exist when you’re true to yourself because you’re eliminating the expectations to feel, look, or act a certain way.
Muttering negative thoughts about ourselves does us no good. Doing so is like issuing those stinky thoughts an invitation to a pity party. When talking to yourself, avoid the temptation to put yourself or your writing down.
Instead, learn to compliment yourself. You don’t have to exaggerate or try to fool yourself with grandiose statements such as “Lookout Oprah! Here I come.
” Sincere, truthful compliments such as “Nice metaphor!” Or “Check out that snappy dialogue!” Can do wonders to ward off self-defeating thoughts.
Identify the people in your life who are willing and able to give you encouragement. Ask for their support. And keep in touch with them.
Beware of people who echo that voice of self-defeat you are trying to shut up. This may require asking for help from professionals who can advise you on how to live with your chronic condition.
And friends and family members who can offer encouragement. Enlist your support network to “yet” along with you.
If self-defeating thoughts are something you continually struggle with, try setting up a happy place for you go to when you feel overwhelmed.
For Instance, ask friends, families, and loved ones to write notes or letters about how much they love you. Save them all up, and when you feel negativity seeping in, break out your happy place and soak up the love.
Include things that actually make you happy in your space. If you’re a visual person, put together a poster of pictures with your loved ones. Create a playlist with your favorite music to listen to. Whatever brings you joy, compile it and save it for a rainy day.
Sometimes, it is better to listen to your heart instead of your mind. Your mind is the place where several negative and positive thoughts reside. However, your heart is the only place where love resides.
Therefore, start listening to your heart. Additionally, happiness comes from inside hence, try to affirm yourself, start believing yourself, and radiate positive vibes!